(Parrot screeching)
Rinse please!
Hi! I'm Laura.
Sorry I'm late.
Parrot: Late!
I saw you last time you were here, right?
Man: Uh, no, maybe a year or two ago.
Listen, I need to be at work by...
Don't worry, I'm gonna get you all polished up
and out of here in no time.
Open up.
(Parrot screeches) (Drops tool)
Sorry.
Rinse please!
Don't Rinse!
I wasn't going to.
Here, just gonna get another one of these.
Rinse please!
Shut up!
Okay, open up.
So, any teeth problems?
(Somewhat garbled) Uh, just a little sensitive to cold sometimes.
To coal?
No, cold.
Oh. I was gonna say...
Flossing regularly?
Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
Good.
Just don't use that super-waxy stuff.
I try to tell my husband that, but he just...
ignores me.
He's, um...
I mean, he's great.
Everything's, you know... great.
It's just the flossing thing, really.
But, I mean, I should really say something, right?
There's so much... wax on that stuff.
It doesn't scrape any of the...
(Chokes up)
The plaque?
Parrot: Rinse please!
##
(Children chattering)
# You're down in a hole and you gotta stop diggin' #
# You're down in a hole #
Man on radio: And the Dow Jones dropped a whopping 3% today...
Closing at its lowest level thus far for 2002.
In local news...
Mayor Mike Bloomberg will hold a news conference tomorrow
to discuss the city's plans
for commemorating the first anniversary
of the terrorist attacks of last September 11th.
Though it's been over ten months since
the World Trade Center Twin Towers were destroyed in those attacks
cleanup is expected to continue right up until the ceremonies begin.
WCLX news time is 3:41.
Shit!
# Raise your hands up #
# I know you got 'em #
(Honks)
# Down to the bottom #
# Raise your hands #
Laura: Denny! Dennis!
# I know you got 'em #
Whoa! Ugh!
Hi, honey!
# I'm walkin' in the rain #
# Tears are fallin' and I feel a pain #
Man on radio: # Wishin' you were here by me #
# to end this misery #
Dad was supposed to pick me up.
Yeah, he had to work late again.
Why?
I don't know.
How was camp?
I saw a girl's tit.
Ooh. How was it?
"How was it?"
I don't know, I just...
She jumped into the pool and her bathing suit came down for a second.
Besides, she's only eleven, it wasn't much of a tit.
Still, it's something.
I thought he wasn't going to work so much this summer.
- Who? - Dad.
I thought you were gonna start doing fulltime at the dentist
so he wouldn't have to work so much.
What happened to that?
I, I haven't...
What's that smell?
What? That's from like a year ago.
God, you are such a liar, mom!
Hey. Hey, ow! Ow! Come on!
That's illegal, you know!
# Wishing you were here by me #
# to end this misery #
Hey, wanna sing along to the radio like we used to?
Open the windows!
(Dog barking)
(Continues barking)
(Barks)
(Dog continues barking)
(Phone rings)
Dennis: I'll get it!
(Rings)
Dad?
Oh, hi, aunt Kathy.
Fine. Yeah, hold on.
Hello?
What happened?
Nothing.
The phone dropped.
Did you get my message? No.
About tonight? The barbecue for the twins' birthday?
Oh, yeah.
Well, gee, thanks so much for the call back, Laurie.
Don't start. I'm begging you.
But you're all coming, right?
Um, yeah.
When is it?
(Sighs)
(Phone rings)
(Rings)
I'm almost home.
Laura: My sister and Paul are having a barbecue.
We have to go.
What? Laura, I'm exhausted.
We have to go. Otherwise, it's a whole thing.
What is it with these people and barbecues?
I mean, do they own a fucking cattle ranch?
We're leaving now, so see you there.
No, no, wait, all right? I'm literally pulling into...
Oh! (Tires screech)
(Sighs)
Hi, dad.
Hey, buddy.
# And how could it be my valentine #
# Okay, let's go #
##
Whoo!
That's my favorite part!
It's a hit, though! It's a hit!
Totally vibin' on this right now! Ow!
What?
(Music continues)
- Stop it! - Stop what?
Stop encouraging him.
Who, Kyle? He's good!
Oh, I'm sorry, maybe he's not up to your standards. He's no Seal.
That's not funny.
He actually told me the other day he doesn't want to go to college.
Congratulations, I know that's what you're secretly hoping for.
What, I am not...
Okay, first of all, college is expensive.
Maybe it's not for him.
Anyway, shouldn't it be his decision?
No! He's an idiot!
So are most professional musicians.
Have you ever heard Keith Richards speak? Have you?
- All right, whatever... - Okay, I rest my case.
Did you even light the grill yet?
There's nobody here.
My parents are here, and Laura and Bob and Dennis are on their way.
Would you just cooperate with me one time in your life?
Just once, as a novelty.
And what is wrong with Seal?
He happens to be a genius.
The face thing is weird, I don't know...
Okay, boys, time to stop now!
Cut!
Stop please!
(Music continues)
Rehearsal's over, honey.
Help your father light the grill and set up.
# You get down on the world #
# The world get down on you, too #
# You get down on the world #
# The world get down on you, too #
# It'll meet you halfway #
# About the most it'll do #
# You get down on the world #
# The world gets down on you, too #
# You're down in a hole and you gotta stop diggin' #
- Nice shot, bro. - Thanks.
(Sighs)
Wendy, that is way too many deviled eggs.
It's not.
I'm making them into a pattern like in the book.
This is for if you're having a big party!
Mom, go away!
(Sighs) Fine.
So, darling?
Yeah, mom?
With Bob having to work so much...
I was wondering, how are you managing with Dennis?
Fine.
Oh.
What do you even mean?
Nothing.
Just the boy seems so attached to his father these days, that's all.
Well, we're having a great summer.
We're doing a lot of stuff together.
Such as?
Today, we sang in the car on the way home from camp.
I know...
Bob needs to be home more, and I've talked to him about it.
I can't imagine this is helping matters.
Hey, there's the hottie!
Hi.
How you doing? You good?
Mm. Is the grill lit yet?
Yes, Kathy, the grill is lit. You can die a happy woman now.
Dad! I had those in a pattern!
It looks a little vaginal.
It's a starfish!
Why does everybody have a comment?! It's really ridiculous!
- Hey. - Hey.
What's goin' on, Roberto?
Not much. It's hot out, isn't it?
Mm-hmm. I know.
So, it's good to finally get you over here.
You missed our last couple of cookouts, huh?
Yeah, yeah, I just, uh...
You were gonna work less this summer, I thought. Wasn't that the big plan?
Yeah, that was the plan, but the...
This commercial office space is still flying, so...
Well, that's certainly not a bad thing.
No, no, no, I just thought real estate slowed down in the summer
especially this year, with interest rates back up.
I thought I read that in the times.
I don't know, maybe not.
Yeah, well, we, uh...
We have a lot of overseas clients.
Overseas, got it. Got it.
Boo!
God damn it, dad!
Hey!
Let's watch the language.
There are, like, so many rich kids at this tennis camp, it's disgusting.
Well, you're not exactly in the slums here, darling.
That's not even the point, grandma. They're spoiled brats.
Then they should elect you their queen.
Shut up!
Kathy: Please don't fight on your birthday. Thank you.
Wendy: It was six days ago.
Speaking of fights, I saw myself on TV last night.
They showed the first Clay-Liston fight
on that ESPN Classics.
I was there, of course, covering for the post...
And when Liston threw in the towel...
First man in the ring, kid!
Yeah, yeah, you told me that once, actually.
I actually caught the end of that last night, Warren.
You see me, Paul? First man in the ring.
Yeah, yeah, no, I saw you.
I'm pretty sure you were third guy in, though.
What?
No, no, I'm not including Liston and Clay!
I'm talking about reporters!
Yeah, no, no, I know,
I just think that two reporters got in right before you.
That's impossible. Who was in before me?
- Dad, calm down. - I said who was in before me?!
Calm down, dad.
One guy had a hat on, I think...
That is a lie!
I'm gonna call the network right now
and I'm gonna get a copy of that film!
Warren, don't start calling people.
Then tell the man who was in first!
You and the guy with the hat were pretty darn close...
So I'm gonna give you second.
Hey, you were second!
First, God damn it! It's documented! Come on!
Grandpa, relax. He's just shitting you.
Paul, why would you do that?
It's a joke. That was so mean, dad.
First man in, wiseass.
And you know what I said to Clay when I ran in?
I said, "Cassius, you are the greatest!"
And that's where he got the moniker...
from me.
Okay, now that's bullshit.
- It's what? - Bullshit.
Bullshit bullshit!
Grandpa, it splatter me every time you do that!
What's wrong with you?
Paul: Warren, you need another?
Yeah, I want a cheeseburger with two pieces of cheese on it.
One for Clay and one for Lister.
Jesus, take it easy, will ya?
It's only my third.
Yeah, right.
Fuck, it's hot out there.
(Sighs)
What do you want?
Look, let's just skip the dance, okay?
If you wanna say something, just say it.
- What do you think I wanna say? - I have no idea.
I think you do know, because you just said that
like you knew what you thought it was I wanted to say.
You know, you're a delightful drunk.
You're paranoid and incoherent. It's a beautiful combination.
How come you're late so much?
Working. Is that a tough concept?
Then how come I get your voice mail all the time?
Probably because when you call me, I'm in a meeting.
Well, what about this, what's-her-name, Julie?
Why doesn't she pick up? Where's she?
'Cause she's in the meetings with me, okay?
Laura, now you wanna drop this? I'm not in the mood for this.
I've been feeling like crap all day, and I'm not gonna talk about this.
Are you getting sick?
No, I'm not.
It's just...
Dennis is disappointed that you aren't coming home as much as you promised.
Then why don't you do something with him, huh?
I walk in the door, you know where he is?
He's in front of the computer, and where are you?
You're sitting in the kitchen and you're swilling beer!
We're doing the cake for the twins now.
- I have to light the candles. - I'll do it.
- Oh, no, that's all right, dear. - Mom, I'll do it, okay?
I'll light the candles, I'll bring out the cake...
And everyone will sing, it's gonna be awesome, okay?
So I've got it. Thank you. Buh-bye, buh-bye.
- Well, then do it now, please. - I'm doing it, okay?!
They're in the drawer right there.
See, I've got it. Thank you, okay. Good-bye. Good-bye.
Thank you.
(Sighs)
Do you want me to help you?
No.
Was one of your meetings at the Cherokee Hotel?
I found the receipt in your pants this morning
when I took it to to the dry cleaner.
Oh, Christ...
It's the Iroquois Hotel, all right?
Get your fuckin' indians straight, and yeah, you know what?
It was a meeting, okay? It was a lunch meeting.
And I submitted it for reimbursement.
What did you submit? It was in your pants.
You got me, Columbo. You're brilliant!
Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
You know what? I'm not fucking Julie, okay?
I'm not fucking the one-armed recycling guy or anybody else.
(Sighs)
You got a lot of fucking nerve
bringing this on me, too, all right?
You checked out of this marriage way before I did.
No, no, I checked out after you.
Way, way before.
After you! After you started working late all the time
and not wanting to have sex any more!
Yeah, after you stopped taking care of yourself
and being somebody a person might wanna come home to!
Correct me if I'm wrong.
(Sighs)
What are you doing with the candles? All right, they're 15, they're not 80.
Laura, come on!
Laura, stop it.
Don't leave it open!
It's rude!
Laura!
Laura, stop it!
Ugh!
(Groans)
Normal, normal, normal, normal.
I was halfway home, you know.
They called me back for this.
Well, what do you think it was?
There was no chest pain, right?
No, no, I was dizzy, I couldn't get a full breath,
and it was just a lot of that.
Happened before tonight?
Um, yeah, a few times, and actually earlier today.
Really? You didn't tell me that.
Well, it wasn't that bad.
Well, what were you doing when it happened the other times?
I was just in meetings.
Use drugs, cocaine?
No, never.
That's true, actually.
Ever feel it when you're exercising?
I haven't worked out in a couple weeks 'cause I've got a bad ankle.
During sexual intercourse?
Um... I don't...
We haven't...
It's been a couple of months.
I don't really remember.
I think the last time was Memorial Day.
Because that's when my parents took Dennis...
All right, I don't think he needs to know everything.
Jesus.
I was just trying to answer his sexual intercourse question.
You had an anxiety attack, my friend.
You eat a couple of Xanax before those killer meetings of yours.
Pay up front.
So you're really okay?
I am really okay.
Get some sleep. It's late.
Can you pick me up from camp tomorrow?
We'll see.
I will try.
I lost two pounds.
Goodnight, buddy.
I love you.
I love you, too, dad.
Honey.
(Sighs)
Will you close the door or kill the light please?
(Sighs)
Bobby?
Yeah?
I'm sorry about tonight,
what I said...
It was stupid. I trust you.
I want you to know that, okay?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
And I'm gonna start taking better care of myself.
I wanna look good again for you.
I'm gonna stop smoking and drinking, and work out.
And I'm gonna ask for more hours at work so you can be home more often, okay?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, honey?
Uh-huh.
Laura, please.
I love you.
I love you, too, sweetheart,
but honestly, just not...
It's okay. You don't have to do anything.
(Sighs)
All right, hey, hey, hey.
No, you don't have to do anything.
I want to, okay?
Oh.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Laura, stop!
Fuck!
I'm sorry. What?
I don't know. Ow!
(Groaning)
I'm...
Help me!
(Crash)
I'm sorry.
(Screeches)
Open again, please.
Yeah, there's definitely something going on with that molar.
I'm gonna have Dr. Kellman take a look after we finish with your cleaning.
Woman: Laura?
Yes?
What are you doing here?
Well, right now I have Mr. Daniels,
and then I have a 10:00 and a 10:30.
Laura, today is your husband's funeral.
Not till 3:00.
(Screeches)
# Darlin', do be alarmed #
# the other foot's about to fall #
# and the wicked ways of your love #
# are catching up to you, doll #
# Now whoever's been sleepin' #
# in your bed is gone #
# Your eyes on the bottle #
# your clothes on the lawn #
# You stand alone, sweetheart #
She actually came to work today. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Well, you know, they say work can be therapeutic.
Not in my office, it ain't.
That doctor was only in there for five minutes.
He didn't take a family history, he only did one stupid test.
He might as well have just killed Bob himself.
Just strangled him with piano wire.
More cake?
These things are so sad and awful.
Yeah. Actually, this is my second one this year.
My father died back in January.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, yeah, thanks, but it was for the best.
Oh, had he been ill?
No.
Wait, I'm trying to explain something.
I was the only reporter Reggie Jackson would talk to
the entire season, and not because I went easy on him,
because I understood the complexities of his situation.
You gotta use your brain. It was a whole different universe back then.
You gotta understand.
When I lost my husband, God rest his soul, I thought my life was over.
But you know what? Here I am. Here I am.
Uh-huh.
I play tennis twice a week, singles,
and I'm on the board of three major charities.
Does that sound like my life is over?
No.
No, it doesn't, does it?
No.
Man on TV: When the Mets desperately needed it,
on a day when Mike Piazza has left base runners...
they pitch...
How ya doin', champ?
##
What's going on?
I feel like I'm in trouble or something.
Don't joke, Laura.
I wasn't.
Look, Laurie, it's nothing bad,
we just want to help you sort out some things right now.
Okay.
I mean, you're devastated, we all are,
but there are things that need to be taken care of...
Important things that no one was thinking about until two days ago.
(Sighs)
Like what?
Well, first of all, finances.
What's the situation?
Like, what investments, how much life insurance did Bob set up... do you know?
Um, not offhand.
But, overall, are you set up to get enough income?
I don't...
You don't know?
You don't know if you're gonna be able to pay your mortgage and feed your child?
Not offhand.
Kathy, just... Keep going.
All right, look, Paul and I know a good lawyer.
Now, he is willing to sit down and go over things with you
and help you figure out where you're at.
You already talked to him? About me?
Yes, Laura, I talked to him about you, because obviously
you're not thinking about these things right now.
Did you consider asking me first? It is my life.
She is only trying to help you.
Now, frankly, I think you should show her a little bit...
(Warren urinating)
For Christ's sake, Warren, close the door!
I'm trying to stay in the conversation, all right?
(Warren passes gas)
(Sighs)
(Starts urinating again)
Go and talk to the attorney, Laura.
There is something else, too.
Dennis.
Your father and I feel very strongly that,
when the school year begins,
you must switch him from public school to Newbury Friends School.
Now, we are prepared to pay his entire tuition.
Mom, I told you this six months ago,
he doesn't want to go, okay?
We only applied because you made us.
He needs the structure.
He needs the attention they can provide.
Mother, it doesn't make any sense
for us to commute from Port to Huntington.
It's a half-hour drive, he doesn't know any of the other kids there.
You listen to me, young lady!
Without his father around, that boy is in trouble...
Deep trouble.
And he needs more help than he can get from a mother
who is nothing more than a spoiled, self-indulgent teenager.
You do this, you know. You bring this on yourself.
(Chuckles)
Okay, then.
##
- Hey. - Hey.
Wow.
He's getting really, really good.
I know, isn't he?
When he was a kid, he was just this sweet, dumb fuck-up,
but he always had soul.
It was just a matter of how it was gonna come out.
- Well, there it is. - Yeah.
Maybe taking him with me to the radio station
all these years, maybe that helped.
I don't know.
You're a good dad, Paul.
(Siren wailing)
Man on radio: And it's back to school day, kiddies...
pencils, books, dirty looks, the whole nine yards.
I had to drag my kids into the car this morning.
Of course, it was 4:00am.
Gee, they hate it when DJ Dad has to carpool.
For those feeling their pain,
here's Long Island's own Eddie Money.
# Baby, hold on to me #
You really have your kids now, or was that just bullshit?
Huh? Your kids. They living with you again?
(Chuckles) No, the ex wants to take 'em back to Pakistan.
You believe that shit?
Fuckin' cunt.
I bet if you went to Pakistan, she'd stay here.
(All laugh) It's not funny, asswipes!
What the fuck are you laughing at, fucker?
# Think about it, baby #
# I'm gonna take you to the top #
- It's supposed to be... - (Both) A great school, great school.
Yeah, I know.
Well, it is.
And it's a chance to make...
New friends.
Check.
I'm sure I'll make thousands.
# Would you hold on to me? #
Can I come in with you?
Just today, because it's the first day.
No.
Why not?
It's gay.
I have time.
It's up to you.
People, make sure to leave plenty of time for the rain,
'cause as my ol' grandma used to say, it's a mofo out there!
(Honks)
(Bell rings)
(Sighs)
No, no, it has to happen this month, Alan.
Because it has to, that's why.
Yeah, okay, fine, then just tell him it's not gonna happen at all.
'Cause this isn't a game, Alan.
This is not a game! Come on!
I'm sorry. I had to take that.
It's fine.
Lot of dishonest, scummy people out there.
Not a problem.
Okay. So, I went over all the material that you sent me,
plus what I got from your accountant.
Here, let me give you that.
Okay.
What is it?
Oh, it's just a summarized version of your financial information,
your equity, your debts, your protected income, blah, blah, blah.
It's all summed up on the last page there.
Do you mind if I set this down?
No, go ahead.
I don't wanna put it on the horse books.
Oh, here, I'll take it.
- Really? - Sure.
- Careful, it's dripping a little. - So it is.
I don't even know why I drink those, because they just make me have to pee so bad.
Do you now? Because...
Uh, no, no, no. Actually, yes, but I can wait.
My dad would never pull over the car on long trips,
so holding it in is kinda a skill from my childhood,
if you can even call that a skill.
Can you just tell me if I'm broke or not?
Look, Laura, you're probably gonna be okay here.
Um, did your sister not mention anything else that we might be discussing today?
Like what?
She didn't mention anything at all?
Can you give me a hint?
No, I'm happy to tell you, I just thought that she would...
Are you aware that I'm a litigator?
Okay.
Your sister sent you to me because I'm a litigator.
I specialize in medical malpractice.
(Bell rings)
(Children chattering)
Hey, are you that Matt Herschel kid?
No.
What are you, stupid?
Herschel doesn't even go here any more.
Plus, he's not that fat.
He looks like him, man.
Here's the thing... the EKG ruled out heart attack, right?
But as we now know, it wasn't a heart attack, it was...
- An arrhythmia. - An arrhythmia, right.
Good, good, which actually is visible on an EKG,
but it's very small, very hard to spot,
especially if you're looking for heart attack,
which shows up like blowing, like an earthquake.
So he just didn't see it?
Obviously not, but more importantly,
he missed a huge clue that it might be there.
Now, when Bob collapsed, he was running.
Is that correct? He was running down the street?
I assume my sister told you that?
Uh-huh, yeah, she filled me in on a few of the basics, you know.
What other basics, that I was drunk
and we got in fight and he had to chase me?
No, no, nothing, nothing, no.
Anyway, the point is, Bob was running,
so his heart rate was elevated at the time.
That's the thing that should have made this schmuck's radar go up.
Now, when Bob had his fatal attack, I'm sorry, what was he doing then?
His heart rate was definitely elevated.
See, there you go. What was he doing?
He was... I was...
Doing a sex act.
Oh. Okay.
A normal one.
Nothing with like ropes or...
(Chuckles) I guess the fight was over then, huh?
Anyway, you see what I'm saying.
The doctor could have saved Bob's life with a proper diagnosis,
but he was negligent, Bob died, so here we are.
Now, would you like to proceed with the lawsuit?
I don't think so, no.
You don't think so?
It's just that, um, lawsuits and suing people,
it's not my thing.
So, no.
Laura, I don't think you understand...
This is an open-and-shut case.
The insurance companies will not even let this go to trial,
we are gonna settle in the high six figures, maybe seven.
This is what I know from 22 years of litigating.
Yeah...
No, thanks.
Look, here's the thing...
He did ask.
The doctor, he asked Bob if he was exercising or...
having sex the other times he got the symptoms,
and Bob said no, that he was just at meetings.
That's possible, an arrhythmia can happen...
What if he was lying?
- Who? - Bob.
About his heart rate being elevated the other times.
What if he was lying?
Why would he be lying?
Because I was standing there.
Okay.
So, if he was lying, that changes things, right?
I mean, as far as malpractice is concerned, right?
No.
No?
No, no.
This, this lie
is purely hypothetical, it's unprovable.
- But, wait, wait, no... - It's not relevant what might have...
If Bob didn't tell the doctor the truth about...
Laura! Stop!
Please.
Look, you're obviously a very moral, honest person, I've got nothing against that.
But, let's look at the big picture here, okay?
You are the victim here.
You're the victim of other people's mistakes.
That is precisely why insurance companies exist,
to protect people like you from getting wiped out from other people's mistakes.
Wiped out? What do you mean wiped out?
- Well, I didn't wanna alarm you. - You said everything was okay.
No, I said things would probably be okay,
and quite frankly, I thought you'd be proceeding with the lawsuit.
I just assumed that you would.
But the fact is Bob, as we say in the legal trade,
fucked up, okay?
He should've set up a trust for you, he didn't.
He should have more life insurance for you, he doesn't.
By the time you pay your estate taxes,
you will have basically nothing left to live on.
I have my job.
What does the dentist pay you? Forty, fifty thousand?
Thirty-eight five.
But they are really nice and I can get more hours.
Mm-hmm, well, unless they're nice enough to let you
and your son live in their office,
you have a problem.
Can I pee now?
Hey, buddy. Don't sweat this too much.
You still got your amp out here if you wanna come out and practice.
Just move it against the wall so there's room for your mom's car.
That's why she's making me stop the band?
So she could park her car in her precious garage again?
No, no, no, we talked.
We both decided you need to focus on school for a while.
Hey, tenth grade, it all counts now, right?
School blows dogs.
Well, I don't know if it blows dogs... per se.
Got a message for your wife...
She got what she wanted, so she can go fuck herself.
Give her that message.
Okay, uh, should I have her call you if she has any questions or...?
What's going on there?
Ah, she really wants him to stop playing for a while so he can get his grades up.
You agreed?
Yeah, well, you know, she does have a point.
Oh, Jesus!
(Children chattering)
Yo, guys, I gotta go, all right?
- See ya, Dennis. - See ya, guys.
Hey, mom.
Hey, honey.
Hey, so it looks like you made some friends after all, huh?
Yeah. Come on, let's go.
- Mrs. Pehlke? - Yes?
Hi. I'm glad I caught you. Hi. I'm Lilly Gallagher.
I'm Dennis' social studies teacher.
Oh, hi, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Look, I'm sure you need to get going,
but I just wanted to, um...
I heard about Dennis' father.
Oh, yeah...
I guess he told some of the other children, and word got around.
I am so sorry. It's tragic.
Thank you.
- I can't imagine how hard it's been for both of you. - Yeah...
Anyway, I just wanted to say, for whatever it's worth,
he was a true hero.
Yeah...
Who?
(Dog barking)
- You have to tell the truth! - No!
Dennis, your father did not die in 9/11!
I know, but what's cooler, okay?
What's a cooler way to die, 9/11 or a u-rithma thing?
- Dennis! - What's cooler?!
9/11 is cooler, but...
It is cooler!
Dennis!
If you don't tell the truth, I'm gonna call the school myself!
No! You can't!
Everyone'll think I'm a freak! You can't!
Well, I can't just let people think that...
What do you even care, anyway?!
The school's like five towns away!
- It doesn't affect you! - That's not the point!
You can't just lie to people like that!
Oh, my God! All you ever do is lie!
You make up all these lame excuses to people for not being somewhere!
You lie to dad about how many beers you had!
You say you don't smoke but you really do!
Those are different! Those are tiny little things!
And they don't involve major events of world history!
Oh!
(Dog continues barking)
What's wrong?
I wanna kill that dog so much!
Okay, what did you say, exactly?
That his real estate office was in one of the towers, or something?
I... I said he was a fireman.
What?
He brought three people out and went back in.
- Why did you say that?! - It's cooler!
Why did you say any of it?! Why?!
- I don't know! - Why?!
I don't know! I just said it!
Some kid was asking me stuff about myself, and I just said it!
Shut up!
Come back here! Come back here!
(Computer beeps)
(Typing)
(Computer beeps)
Mrs. Pehlke, did you love your husband?
Yes.
I'm sorry, could you speak up, please?
Yes. Yes, I can speak up.
And I loved him. Yes to both.
Were you happy in your marriage?
Were you satisfied and content with the relationship?
Yes, it always made me very happy and proud
to be married to such a brave...
fireman, like him.
And I'll always be proud of the fact that,
before he died, he was able to save those...
three people.
What was the last thing he said to you that morning?
I don't remember, exactly.
As I told you before, I was a little intoxicated.
And do you remember what you said to Dr. Bronstein?
About the last time you and your husband had sexual intercourse?
Yeah.
We hadn't had sex since...
Memorial Day.
Oh, that's so sad.
(Horn honking)
Wendy, come on!
Where is she?!
Probably having a grand mal seizure from the honking.
She's the one who wanted to get in early for debate club.
Wait, why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work?
I had some stuff to do first.
(Honks)
Wendy!
I couldn't find my hat! My God!
- Bye, Wendy. - Bye, daddy.
- See you tonight. - All right.
Jesus.
See ya, dad.
(Cars honking)
God, this traffic is...
You know what my dad used to say when I was little?
The Long Island expressway is the biggest parking lot in the world.
(Fake laughter)
Well, it was funny at the time.
(Turns up radio)
(Runaround Sue playing)
Come on.
Here we go.
# I should've known it from the very start #
# The girl would leave me with a broken.. #
- Wrong. - Come on, sing!
No way.
You used to love it.
Yeah, when I was one.
# I miss her lips and the smile on her face #
# hum-da-hey-da-hey-da-hey-hey #
# The touch of her hand and that girl's warm embrace #
# hum-da-hey-da-hey-da-hey-hey #
# So if you don't wanna cry like I do #
both: # Keep away from-a Runaround Sue #
# hum-da-hey-da-hey-da-hey-hey #
# oh #
All right, that'll be enough of that.
(Turns off radio)
Do not smile.
##
I love that song, don't you?
Of course, that was Dion,
with his great classic Runaround Sue,
and I am absolutely thrilled to tell you
that we have the man, the innovator himself
right here in our studio...
Living legend Dion DiMucci.
- Welcome, sir. - Thank you.
Dan, great to see you again.
Well, apparently you don't age, because you look
just like the kid who came out of the Bronx.
Yeah, right. Sure.
I'm glad we're on radio here so no one can dispute that.
So you've got a new record coming out, right?
- CD. - Yeah, that's the word.
CD.
Yeah, but they look like little records, don't they?
So tell me, these are all new versions,
new masters of your classics, right? How'd that come about?
No way.
Just a labor of love.
I have a great band. You know, the old records are short.
We wanted to lengthen them.
It's a party album.
Oh, oh, it's like Doug Clark and The Hot Nuts?
That kind of stuff?
(Laughs)
# Nuts #
both: # Hot nuts #
# You get 'em from the peanut man #
(screeches)
So what happened exactly?
How'd you lose the filling?
Man: Ah, I was eating popcorn.
Last night, I was at the Coliseum
for that Ultimate Fighting thing.
Oh, I love U.F.C.
I wouldn't have guessed that.
Anyway, I felt kinda silly... I mean, I'm whining about my toothache,
meanwhile there's a guy in the ring bleeding from both ears.
(Screeches)
What's with that bird, anyway?
It's supposed to be soothing.
What, you're not soothed?
It fucking creeps me out, actually.
You like that thing?
Yeah... In a casserole, maybe.
Huh...
You're pretty sassy for a hygienist, aren't ya?
##
# Walk downtown, baby #
# Have your fun #
# Downtown, baby #
(Chuckles)
# Have your fun #
# If you wanna rock and roll #
# I'm the one #
# Jackie told her brother, mama told her cousin too #
# The woman got a mind, knows exactly what she's gonna do #
# Drop down, baby #
# Yeah, let your daddy see #
# You wanna rock and roll #
I know, right?
# I can set you free #
Okay, check it out.
Try something.
I don't know where he gets it from.
Yeah.
Wow...
All right, all right.
I'm gonna take lessons from you.
(All laugh)
So what did they finally get for that place across the street, do you know?
The Fishbecks? Last I heard they dropped it to like a million four.
I talked to Miranda, that realtor we know, yesterday.
She said a million two.
They took one... (Scoffs)
No balls, man, no balls at all.
The Fishbecks? No, The Fishbecks have plenty of balls.
He's got one, and the wife has got half a dozen, at least.
What the hell are you talking about?
- The Fishbecks. - Would you just stop?
And by the way, why did you tell Miranda
that I was three years older than you?
I didn't say that.
She said you said three. It's one.
Why would you say three?
I don't know... I rounded up?
You look younger with your hair longer, I've told you that.
Kathy looks very good for her age.
Yeah, 90.
(Chuckles)
By the way, smarty, how'd you do on your math test today?
Fine.
"Fine"? What does that mean?
Does that mean you passed or...?
- He wasn't in school today. - What?
You little twat.
He can't call me that! Punish him!
I can say "twat." He just said "balls."
I wasn't referring to an actual pair of testicles.
And I wasn't referring to an actual twat.
Stop that!
(Laughs)
Don't encourage him. What is wrong with you?
Come on, what the hell did I say?!
Okay, everybody, please.
Thank you.
Now, why weren't you in school today?
Not that it's gonna prevent your punishment, but why?
I took him down to the station with me... to meet Dion.
"Dion"? Dion who?
Dion DiMucci.
You know... Dion.
I... I'm stunned, Paul.
I thought that we were gonna try to help our son get an education.
- I know, I know, but... - Your son is failing math.
I know, but Dion is a legend.
His music will be around a lot longer than math.
Oh, right, it's a joke again, right.
Oh, I guess I'm just too old to understand.